Waiting Games

What is it about social media that makes us feel like we have to post things about ourselves to feel good? What’s that saying? If a tree fall falls in a forest, and no one is a around to hear it, does it make a sounds? Today’s translation: If you don’t post anything on social media about who you’re with/what you’re doing, did it even happen?

Lately I’ve found myself in a continuos cycle of deleting my social media apps, then re-download them when I’m bored. I’ve grown envious of other people’s “picture perfect” lives. I’ve become sadden that my life is not where I want it to be. It’s dumb, but I keep thinking, “I never have anything to post.” That I don’t have the job that others do, that I’m not as smart, as pretty, I don’t have as much fun, and I’m not in that perfect relationship. I know everything online is only for show and people only post the good things, but it’s been affecting me.

Recently, my ex-boyfriend got married. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m very happy for him and he deserves nothing but the best. His wife is a sweetheart and they both looked great on their big day. But, why does it bother me that they got married? I mean don’t have feelings for him. I really just think it’s because I want that. I want to get married to my perfect someone and have a house and be established in life. This is how my week started.

Why is this stuff bothering me? When logically, I know to trust in God. I know that His plans are greater. I know I’m on my own journey and things will happen in it’s own time. I know they will, they always have. Sooo.. Why am I still upset over it? Of course, it really doesn’t help that the guy I like doesn’t care for me, that the job I want isn’t happening, that I feel stuck in life… etc.

I write this to remind myself to TRUST. One of the things I struggle with the most in life. But I know God knows what He’s doing. If it’s His will, the guy I like will be interested in me (I mean were pretty much perfect for each other soo likee…) But even if he doesn’t, one day I’m believing that the right someone will. Until then, I know I am to continue to pursue the heart of God because it is only in God that my future husband will find me. Also, I know the right job will appear, because what’s presented to me right now is stressing me out and not ideal. I know I’ll be able to move out one day, even know I really want to move out now.

This is my note to self and to anyone who may read this. Stop psyching yourself out with people on social media. Social media is not real life, it’s nothing worth being upset over. Delete the apps forever, if it’s better for your mental health. Your day will come to be a relationship. Enjoy your single hood. Your day will come to work at the right job. Enjoy the days you have off, deal with the crappy job. Your day will come to move out. Save up while you can. Just wait patiently. Trust wholeheartedly. God knows you, He loves you, and He has your wellbeing in mind at all times.

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